Friday Potpourri

Here we are 

the end of the week has indeed arrived

and I am still missing that hour of sleep I lost

last week-end

I know, I know

wah wah wah

this week was a week

that I did not spend a whole lot of time

on the computer

I jumped back on the Wii

did some reading

and shopping

not a whole lot really

just got some stuff done

we are still looking at vacation packages

and hope to have something nailed down and booked

by the end of the week

next week....

I went looking for a new bathing suit 

and it was not a good time at all

partnered with the fact

that I have gained some of my weight back

I need to focus again

I need to lay off the sweets

and cut down my portions again

focus ~ focus

we will have a busy week-end

a surprise party on Saturday night

and the Home Show on Sunday

I am looking for stairs

and a new railing

I am excited ~ it is one of my favorite shows

I have also been compiling a list

46 for 46

I borrowed the idea from Mikal

since I am turning 46 next month

and you know ~ it is hard

since I feel I have already shared so much

but I am getting ready...

this one is for my Grammy Stiles

it was 24 years yesterday since she passed

she had Alzheimer disease

you know ~ I wish that was able to get to know her

as an adult

I think we would have had a lot in common...

Have a wonderful week-end my sweets

 

xo

Looking Back & Moving Forward

The first week of the year
is always a hard one for me

it brings back memories
that are both cherished
and heartbreaking

January 1, 2001
my world changed forever

I was in the midst of planning our wedding
life was good
I was happy ~ my heart was happy

then we got a phone call
it was my brother

hold off on picking up supper
Mom was taking Dad into emergency
as he was "acting funny"

about 20 minutes later
the phone rings again
it was Mom
she was frantic
Dad was having a stroke

we raced to emergency
ran in
he was having tests run

OK
a stroke we can deal with
right?
with some rehabilitation
he can bounce back from this

we waited in the family room
the doctor came in
yes ~ it was a stroke
but
it was a bleed
deep in the brain
nothing can be done
we better call the family

I called my brother
come to the hospital
then Dad's sister
and his brother

the family arrived
rallied in the family room
that was the 1st day

he hung in there with us
showing signs of improvement

he and Mom celebrated their
37th wedding anniversary on the 4th

every day we took shifts

made picture books

I brought in a walkman
and some of his favorite music

and although he was paralyzed on his right side
and lost his speech
he was still my Dad
and could hug with his left arm
and smile.


Saturday I was packing up Christmas
as I could have cared less about it the previous week
I went into the hospital around 3
and planned to stay until around 7:30

it hard started to snow
a storm was brewing
I was sitting there
holding his hand
and he had a seizure
and coded
they cleared the room
and I stood in the doorway
watching...

Back to the family room
scared to death
thank goodness Trevor was with me

the nurse came in
said the doctor was with him
and did I want to call Mom?

NO
she will just want to come in
and it is storming
not a good idea

looking back I know that he was already gone
but she did not want to tell me there
without Mom

so we called the house
told my brother to bring Mom
to the hospital
as there has been a setback

that was January 6, 2001

so the first week of the year
I have a hard time not looking back

I am thankful
that I had 5 more days with Dad
after he had his stroke

I have no regrets
he knew that I loved him
with all my heart

I was
Daddy's Little Girl.

~*~

So
now I must look to the future
go forward
be in the moment

I am filled with hope for a brighter tomorrow

but I will look back
and remember this man
who will remain in my heart
Forever.

xo