Love Big

This is not a happy post ~ I will warn you now

but I feel like I have to write ~ I need to get it out

a little like when I used to keep a journal 

except now I type and post for the whole world to see 

instead of keeping my thought between pages and storing them in my bedside table

last Friday morning I was going through my daily routine

when something told me to pick up my phone

I picked it up and put it down

then picked it back up again

there was a message from my best friend's daughter

one that knocked the wind out of me

my bestie's sister had passed away the night before

honestly, I know that there is a circle of life

that we all have to die someday

but I find it so hard to accept when a sweet kind gentle being

that has been taking care of her terminally ill husband for the last 6 months

can be taken from this earth

leaving a 23 year old son that will soon lose his father as well

I guess that is the part that gets me

how uncertain tomorrow is

today was the funeral ~ the building was packed

a testament to a woman who was loved very much

the one with a smile, a kind word, a recipe, a how to

our resident Martha before Martha became the rage

she loved big ~ with her whole heart

last time I saw her was at a shower this spring

everyone would always ask how Dan was doing 

but when I sat down to talk to her that day I said

how are YOU doing

being the caretaker is exhausting ~ we do it for love

and tend to put things like our own well being

off to the side ~ for later

her later never came and that makes me sad

but I am so glad that I focused on her that day

it was the last time I saw her

I saw people today that I have not seen in years

there were lots of hugs and tears

and great conversations ~ some remember that time

and stories about Debbie

rest in peace sweet angel

gone too soon

xo