The Graduate

Last week was quite the week

it was busy ~ but a good busy

you see this little girl

graduated high school

I won't lie to you ~ it has not been an easy road for this one

and we did not know whether this day would ever come

but she made the decision to go back to school in September

and she stuck to it and made it through

she was actually finished in January after her exams

and said she did it and was not going to bother with prom or graduation ceremonies

I am so glad she changed her mind!

prom was Monday ~ she looked stunning in her shimmering gown

it was navy blue and she had plenty of "bling"

so she shone just like the diamond she is

her boyfriend is pretty handsome too

they had a ball at prom

~*~*~

Thursday night was graduation

I won't lie and will tell you that I had tears in my eyes

I was bursting with pride

and I kinda love that she graduated from the same high school

that I did ~ 31 years ago!

love this shot of the girls with their Dad

and one with Mom

I wrote the following on Facebook when I got home after prom

and posted her pictures

I met this little girl when she was 2 ~ she soon had my heart and became my niece soon after. 

She has grown into a beautiful young woman and seeing her tonight brought tears to my eyes 

and a heart full of love. 

I cannot wait until Thursday night to see her in her cap and gown.

I am so proud of you my Goosey Lucy ~ Love you forever Katrina xoxo

you done good kiddo ~ the sky is the limit

you can do whatever you want

and Auntie Lori gets a 3 year break until the next one

My Hometown ~ Moncton

The events of the past few days have been all consuming 

something like this does not happen in our little city

the gunman was caught Thursday night

and when I awoke on Friday morning

I breathed a sigh of relief ~ it is over

then while getting ready for work the press conference came on

I stopped to watch as they announced the names of the fallen officers

and the 2 in hospital

Constable David Ross, Constable Fabrice Gevaudan and Constable Douglas Larche

wait..............what

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Doug?  No..... but he was accounted for

we heard it on the scanner on Wednesday night

we know now that accounted for did not mean that he was ok

you see before Doug joined the RCMP, he worked with Trevor

they were on the road ~ together steady for 4 days a week

every week

then the phone rang ~ Trev was at the fire station ~ he wanted to know if I was watching

choking back tears I picked up the phone

I cannot believe it

although we did not travel in the same circles anymore

it hit us both pretty hard

this is Doug and his wife Nadine on their wedding day

he leaves behind 3 little girls ~ 9, 8 and 4

it breaks my heart in 2

if you would like to read Nadine's message you can do so here

if you can say a prayer for her and her girls along with the families of the other officers involved I am sure they would appreciate it as well

I really hate and I know that hate is a strong word

that our city ~ my hometown will now be known for this

I have lived in or around here for most of my life

we used to be known for our magnetic hill 

where you can put your car in neutral and coast uphill

(really!  google it!)

now we join the ranks of places I never knew existed 

but are now known for incidences like this

all because one 24 year old had a problem with authority and

a dislike for the police

I have read every article, watched every video

cried, smiled and swelled with pride with the outpouring of support

the police force and our city has received from all over the world

the CN Tower in Toronto lit up last night in honour of the fallen

love * love * love

last night I got some flowers and went over to the police station

my lip quivered and my eyes welled up with tears

I shook the hand of an officer and said thank you

it's the least I could do

this video was shared today on facebook and I love that I can share it here with you.

We will come back ~ we will heal

#monctonstrong

I Pray....

It's Thursday night and I should be working on my 

Friday Potpourri post

talking about how the scent of lilacs fill the neighborhood

and I love it so

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but not tonight

we are in the middle of a surreal moment

a moment that has shaken our quiet little city to the core

there is a madman on the loose

with guns ~ one that has shot 5 RCMP officers

killing 3 and wounding the other 2

it has consumed me the last 24 hours

school was cancelled ~ malls were closed

no garbage picked up or mail delivered

all provincial and federal offices closed

buses pulled from the streets

and many office buildings, restaurants and bars

shut down til further notice

there is a portion of the city on lock down

police have come in from all over to assist in the search

as darkness fell tonight with still no news of capture

my heart ached

I read this post and loved it

I pray for the safety of the police out there searching

I pray for the families of the fallen

I pray for the residents in the locked down areas of the city

I pray for the parents that have to explain to their children 

why they cannot go to school and play outside

I pray that he is found and this nightmare ends soon

I am so happy to be able to post an update to this post this morning!

They caught him just after midnight last night

for those who prayed ~ I thank you

xo

Hello June

Oh June

you smile at me in every blossom

you embrace me with the warmth of the sun

you wink at me on the wings of a butterfly

your song to me comes from the birds sweetly singing

you delight me by awakening all my senses ~ the hummingbirds hovering

the lawn mowers humming and the smell of fresh cut grass

then I watch the bees buzz amid the flowering blooms

your big blue skies and fluffy white clouds bring out the child in me

warm gentle breezes kiss my skin

then you shade me under the big willow ~ nature's canopy

the earth absorbs the raindrops that fall from the sky

making everything green and lush

I will drink you in as you tan my skin and remind myself once again

why I love you so.

Love Big

This is not a happy post ~ I will warn you now

but I feel like I have to write ~ I need to get it out

a little like when I used to keep a journal 

except now I type and post for the whole world to see 

instead of keeping my thought between pages and storing them in my bedside table

last Friday morning I was going through my daily routine

when something told me to pick up my phone

I picked it up and put it down

then picked it back up again

there was a message from my best friend's daughter

one that knocked the wind out of me

my bestie's sister had passed away the night before

honestly, I know that there is a circle of life

that we all have to die someday

but I find it so hard to accept when a sweet kind gentle being

that has been taking care of her terminally ill husband for the last 6 months

can be taken from this earth

leaving a 23 year old son that will soon lose his father as well

I guess that is the part that gets me

how uncertain tomorrow is

today was the funeral ~ the building was packed

a testament to a woman who was loved very much

the one with a smile, a kind word, a recipe, a how to

our resident Martha before Martha became the rage

she loved big ~ with her whole heart

last time I saw her was at a shower this spring

everyone would always ask how Dan was doing 

but when I sat down to talk to her that day I said

how are YOU doing

being the caretaker is exhausting ~ we do it for love

and tend to put things like our own well being

off to the side ~ for later

her later never came and that makes me sad

but I am so glad that I focused on her that day

it was the last time I saw her

I saw people today that I have not seen in years

there were lots of hugs and tears

and great conversations ~ some remember that time

and stories about Debbie

rest in peace sweet angel

gone too soon

xo

Monday's Random Thoughts

It's a holiday Monday here and I am thankful for it

after being off a week on vacation where everyday brought something

it is nice to have a day for me ~ to do with what I wish 

originally they were predicting rain

but it has since cleared off and I feel like I need to get back outside

someone had a birthday on Thursday ~ yes my baby girl is 7

I can hardly believe it

these were not planned ~ while I was out shopping I happened across them

so you know I had to get them

we have had a gorgeous weekend ~ Friday I fell asleep in the lounge chair on the deck

and woke up with a little sunburn which thankfully has tanned up

scooped up Mom and went out for dinner that night

landed at a little takeout by the shore and had the best seafood

too much grease ~ too much food ~ but so so good

we made a pit stop at my girlfriend's place and got to see the whole gang

which was a treat to find everyone home

her daughter was also there visiting with this little monkey who just turned 1 last month

isn't he just the cutest!

Saturday the sun came out again ~ it was a gorgeous day

sunshine and heat are not something we have had a lot of

so everyone was enjoying it as you can see here 

I had cleaned out the flowerbeds on Thursday and could not get over

how much everything has burst up and open over the last 4 days

I am loving it all

while I was cleaning up the back beds I made the decision to pull the wood out of 

the front beds ~ some of it was just becoming one with the earth

and since they were here when we moved in ~ they were over 12 years old

I researched different edgings and decided to just trench them for now

until I figure out what I am going to use

don't mind the black wire ~ it's for our old school moon lights

and do not want to do anything drastic until I make a decision

do you have a favourite edging product?  I think I like brick

but I want them cheap or free!

via

I found this one on the Better Homes & Gardens website and I think I like it

thought?  comments?

yesterday we went down to the cape ~ opened the cottage so that was 

elbow grease cleaning ~ stripping beds and making lists

it was a great day for it ~ all the windows were opened ~ music blasting

we were getting stuff done and it felt good

and of course stopped at the farm on the way home

this view never gets old

the rhubarb will be awhile yet ~ but I can wait.

It's my blogging anniversary today ~ 5 years ~ can you even believe it!!

Wishing all my Canadian friends a Happy Victoria Day!

Motherhood

Motherhood never knocked on our door

and days like yesterday makes me painfully aware of it

some people have wondered

and some have asked

yes ~ we wanted kids

yes ~ we tried

via

we went through testing and poking and prodding

medications, temperature taking

scheduled sex = no romance

we did it all and although there was nothing wrong medically

with either one of us ~ it just did not happen

we did not go the AI or IVF route

at the time it was very costly and something that just was not in the cards

for us

we looked into adopting both locally and internationally

but it was something we did not actively pursue

I will never forget the Mother's Day weekend 2003

I was late ~ really late

we were hopeful ~ almost to the point of going out to buy baby rattles to present 

to both Mom's at dinner on Sunday

we were over the moon ~ it had been a long road and although I had not yet

taken a test ~ I knew it in my heart that there was a life growing ~ it had happened for us

then it was no more ~ I cried hard hot tears

and was at a breaking point ~ ready to give up on it all

the following Monday I was standing at the sink doing dishes

still feeling sorry for myself ~ beaten down ~ low low low

then all of the sudden this scent filled my kitchen

it was like my Dad had just walked through the back door

I was afraid to turn around ~ it had been a couple of years since he had passed

and had never stepped foot in this house as it was new to us

I did turn around ~ there was no one there

and then I leaned down and sniffed the water ~ wondering was was causing 

the scent ~ it was not coming from the sink

it was Dad paying me a visit ~ letting me know that everything was going to be ok

 I am not writing this so you can feel sorry for me

it is not a pity party

I have accepted the fact and am happy

I have 2 beautiful nieces that I love with all my heart

I have children of friends that love me like an Aunt

I have cheered them on ~ praised them

wrapped them tightly in hugs and kisses

they have filled my life with joy

if I only have one regret

it is that my mother in law will never be called Grammy

or Grandma ~ Nanny or Nana

I know she would have loved it

instead she is Grammy to 2 fur babies

the ones I mother and cuddle

the ones I love and cannot imagine being without

so yesterday when we gathered around the table

sharing great food, wine and conversation

I felt blessed to have both Mom's here

I wrote about both of them last year in my

"Women that made me" series ~ you can read about them here and here